Tonight was our first session of the new 11-13 year old "Tween" Group. We had 13 kids (two families needed to cancel at the last minute). We will likely have 15 kids by November. The simple fact is, YOUR KIDS WERE GREAT TONIGHT. Most of them had never met one another and yet, nearly all of them were conversing by the evening's end. It was truly wonderful to watch.
We began the evening by heading over to the office. It had been raining and I was concerned about whether we would get caught up in that. kids piled into the waiting room and found seats, I talked with them about how the group would work, introduced the counselors, and facilitated them introducing themselves to one another. By a wide majority, the group voted to go to Numero Uno for dinner this evening. Nobody reacted negatively to this decision. I decided to have a group go to dinner a little early so they can get to know one another in a more casual environment. This worked out even better than I had imagined. We walked over, with a few comments about pedestrian safety as we went along, and settled in at the restaurant. Eight of the group members sat at one large table, four sat at another table, leaving one member to either sit by himself or with one adult. This wasn't how I wanted to see things, but logistically it was difficult to move around kids would already begun talking to one another. As it turned out the student who sat with me briefly (AB), went over to the table where the three counselors were seated and wound up joining them. (I didn't take it personally). He started telling them jokes, and have an opportunity to practice not laughing before he got to the punch line. He went up saying at that table and appeared to enjoy himself immensely.
The other students were equally engaged in conversations, gentle horsing around, and pretty much everyone appeared to be having a good time. One child, who had brought a cell phone with him, was having difficulty leaving it in his pocket. After a few times of reminding him, I asked him if he would mind living in adult hold it until the end of group. He willingly gave it up, but then later asked if he could use it or make a phone call. Yet another child, who is bidding group before and rarely misbehaves, wound up putting ice down the shirt of the kid next to him. On the one hand we have a no touching rule and on the other hand it's sometimes nice to see kids acting silly in ways that are pretty harmless. I chose to go the latter and will monitor and watch whether this approach appears successful. Sometimes I have different rules for different children, depending upon what the target behaviors are identified by their parents and how they behave in group.
The kids did just fine in ordering pizzas and other food for themselves, with some ordering appetizers which they shared with others. This always provides a nice opportunity to explain that you don't use your “personal” fork to get food and pop in your mouth. Instead I worked with the kids to use a fork that they're not eating from, transferring it to a plate in front of them and then eating. For some of the kids we worked on holding utensils properly and JF for example, immediately began holding his fork differently, in a more age appropriate manner. Several of the group members decided to share a large Caesar salad and we also ordered extra pizza. Some of them wanted to know if we were having dessert tonight and I informed him that since we decided to have soda, that counted as our dessert. I also let them know that we don't always have dessert and we don't always order soda. Some nights will have soda and our rule is that the kids can have a one half refill, then switch to water. Other times the only drink we permit is water.
After finishing up in group, and thank goodness we had no rain during our travels, we headed back to the office. During meal time to the counselors, Carli and Stasi ( not to be confused with the “Stacy” who you have spoken to and had e-mail correspondence with from the office) Went around to the different kids and tried to have them think of nicknames. As you may recall from the parent orientation, we never put identifying child information on the Internet, but we will use nicknames and/or initials. Seven of the 13 group members came up with nick names the first time around, and all of them were able to come up with one mighty and the group. We encourage them not to use just their own initials or something easily identifying and they will have opportunities to make changes over the next couple of sessions.
Having completed this, the kids decorated envelopes that they will use for keeping the raffle tickets and they were introduced to the LUNCH Points online computer program for generalizing behaviors in the home environment. That's a mouthful, huh? What that means is that you, as parents, will be able to login and report on your child's behavior from a choice of nearly 50 behaviors. You will print out a LUNCH Points certificate which your child then needs to take responsibility for and bring to group. Please do not take responsibility for them. It is fine to remind them and asked them if they remembered it, but if you see that they have forgotten it, do not make a trip back home and please do not ask me if they can have a special exemption “just this one time.” this is a reasonably harmless way for them to learn that being organized and responsible for their possessions matters. I have already informed them that we will have a “ surprise raffle” next time for LUNCH Points.
In the few remaining minutes of group, I showed them a video that has become very popular on YouTube. We will often show select music movies or animations that I previously screened or shown to other groups.
Perhaps however, the most amazing thing of all that occurred tonight was how prompt all of the parents, and I mean all of the parents, were in picking your children up. We were out there at 6:45 PM, and by 6:48 PM all 13 children have been picked up. Let's hope this the beginning of a consistent trend.
Our next group meeting will be the third week in October, to be held on October 20. We will be having a parent dinner during the fourth week in October and you will receive an announcement regarding the shortly.
Thanks for sending such a great group of kids and I look forward to seeing everyone in two weeks. If you have any questions please call the office or e-mail me.
Bruce
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